Donald P. Belmesario

Early years

Donald Peter Belmesario was born in 1936 in Coalsburg, Pennsylvania, a town he has since described as “the single greatest training ground for television writers in American history” and, on different days, “a with a post office.” Both statements are considered canonical by the Belmesarius press office.

After four years in the Navy Reserve — two at sea, two of which he still will not discuss — young Donald supported himself selling insurance, then automobiles, and, by his own account, “at least one bridge, twice.” He credits this period with teaching him the two skills that would define his career: closing a deal, and leaving before the paperwork was read.

The career

Belmesario broke into television in the early 1960s, writing episodes of whatever would have him, and several shows that would not. By the late 1970s he had developed a reputation as a writer-producer of rare conviction — that is, a man who shot the scene he wrote, aired the scene he shot, and invoiced the network for both.

In 1980 he founded Belmesarius Productions, an independent studio built on three principles: story first, character second, and the founder’s veto third through fortieth. The company’s first series, MAGNUM P, debuted in 1981 and ran eight seasons. QUANTUM HOP (1989) and ENSEE. WHY? YES! (2003) followed, the latter of which is still on the air, a fact Belmesario attributes to “excellence” and the network attributes to “him owning the building.”

He has personally written, co-written, or heavily rewritten the final act of nearly every episode of every Belmesarius series. He also appears in cameos so frequent that the Studio City Chamber of Commerce once listed him as “recurring local weather.”

The wealth

Belmesario is, by any measure, extremely comfortable. His holdings include the Belmesario Plaza office tower, a Hawaiian estate he “won from a reclusive novelist in a card game the novelist doesn’t remember,” a collection of vintage Italian automobiles he insists are “for research,” and the Donald P. Belmesario Bell Tower & Gift Shoppe at Chesapeake State University, his alma mater, which he donated in 2019 along with a plaque reading, in part, “You’re welcome.”

The quotes

“Notes are for pianos and people who work at networks. I am neither. Mostly.”Donald P. Belmesario, 1987

“You want my secret? I never learned the word ‘no.’ My father tried to teach it. I had him written out of the episode.”Donald P. Belmesario, 1991

“The P is for , kid. Always has been. The lawyers can take my studio, they can take the tower, but they’ll never take the P.”Donald P. Belmesario, at large, to everyone, constantly

• 1936

  Born in Coalsburg, Pennsylvania. The doctor asks for a name. There are complications.

• 1961

  Sells his first teleplay. Buys a suit with the money. The suit is still his only suit he likes.

• 1980

  Founds Belmesarius Productions. Letterhead commissioned before the lease is signed.

• 1981

  MAGNUM P debuts. The Ferrari is red. It was always going to be red.

• 1989

  QUANTUM HOP premieres. Critics call it “ambitious.” Belmesario calls the critics.

• 2003

  ENSEE. WHY? YES! launches. Nobody at the network ever asks what it stands for. Nobody at the network ever works there again.

• 2019

  Donates the Bell Tower & Gift Shoppe to Chesapeake State. Ceremony runs forty minutes over. By his count, exactly as scheduled.

• Today

  Still arrives at the lot at 5 a.m. Still has the moustache. Still won’t say the word.